Too much information....

I'm tired -- just plain exhausted. Why? It's because of stress!!! I stress myself out over every little thing I read about. For example, my most recent series of panic attacks and tears were over food dyes. For the last 15 years or so, I have done my best to avoid all food dyes, artificial flavorings and preservatives. Most people scoffed my efforts since my choices were not common place at the time. I persevered and believed I was doing the right thing.

Well.... don't question my intelligence when you hear this one. Instead, my levels of trust should be under consideration. As I mentioned previously, I read the labels on everything. Well, when my prescription prenatal vitamins didn't come with an ingredient list, I didn't go out of my way to get one. I googled the name of the vitamin and came across one on line that had the same name and the ingredients were great.

Hmmm... maybe I should have stopped to ask myself WHY THE HELL THE PILLS WERE YELLOW!!! Or the ones before that were blue!! Well, it was because of food dyes in the pills. Who the hell would do such a thing to a pregnant woman??!?!? I understand that the pharmacists need them to be identifiable, but seriously.. do we need twenty different brands? Can't they do it with something other than petroleum based chemicals???

I am the sort of person who just cannot let go. If there are any minute problems with my daughters in the future, I will blame myself first and foremost. Then I will blame the idiot doctors that prescribed them and then the ridiculous pharmaceutical companies.

Thanks for listening. I feel a little bit better.

HELLO IDEA TUESDAYS!!!!

I am far from "super mom." In fact, what would you call the opposite? "Just making it mom?" (Jumamo!) That's me -- a true Jumamo! Well, even your run of the mill Jumamo has a good idea every once in a while!!!

Teething -- every mom's favorite childhood rite of passage; what does this Jumamo do? Feed her baby organic wild blueberries!! They're small enough that they do not pose a choking hazard; they are super cold and super healthy!!!! Both of my daughters devour them and not just when teething!! Give it a shot!! WARNING: They are super messy and stain!!!!

Apologies for my absence....

Since I only have one follower to date, I will make my excuses brief. Every opportunity that I have had, I have been escaping. Escaping from what, you may ask... my beautiful girls, my wonderful husband? No. From the unremarkable path I have chosen.

Prior to my current situation, I traveled the world and impressed people with stories of my adventures and the skills I possessed. Now, I try to keep the house clean (which I have had NO success with), keep my girls healthy and happy, and to survive each day. My poor husband is along for the ride. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in a row but once in about 14 months and it's taken its toll on me I have to admit.

My escape has been TV and occasionally a fantastic book. Something to look forward to when the angels lay their little heads down to slumber. I hate television and I've never understood the people who watched the popular shows with religious fervor. Now I am one of them. I watched 5 episodes of Gray's Anatomy today (they were DVRd of course!) and I feel like a pathetic loser. But there is something nice about escaping into someone else's perception of the world and living even a little bit vicariously through said show.

HOWEVER, I watched my little girl enjoy a chocolate cupcake today with blue frosting and yellow goldfish on it (all natural from Whole Foods of course!) and she was happy. And you know what, I was happy. Her sweet little smile and the innocence of her pale little face surrounded by the cutest blond curls, made me smile. My life is anything but mundane! I created two beautiful children (my hubby helped a little) and I get to watch them discover the world each and every day. There is an escape right in front of me and I plan to try and see the world through their eyes every day I can.

More than one....

Okay, maybe Forrest Gump's Mama said it first, but your kids are like a box of chocolates... I love them all, but the dark chocolate... well, I like those better, but I'll eat the milk chocolate too. And then there are the fillings.... caramel, they're okay, but give me something fudgey on the inside and I'm in heaven. But then of course, the chocolate I like can depend on my mood as well. Some days I'm happy to have a caramel filling and other days, I'm happy with something a little bit more exotic.

I love both of my girls. They are definitely dark chocolate for me, but I have to be honest... I love one just a little bit more. They are both wonderful and totally different, but if I had to pick a favorite, one of them definitely lightens my heart a little bit more. Does that make me a bad mom or just human?

Why is it I feel this way? Is it a personality thing? Maybe their ages and what I hope are temporary temperaments. I think that this truly has to be it. After all, there are some days I feel like hanging out with a particular friend and other days I'd prefer someone else. Some days I realize that my husband is amazing, but other days the sight of him makes me cringe. (Sorry honey! These are very rare!)

I'm an only child, so I never had to contend with a sibling, nor can I ask my mom if I was her favorite. She was stuck with me!! Poor woman. I've never asked the question of parents. I never wanted them to have to admit what I'm telling you, but I wonder if more people out there feel the same way.

Can you tell? One of my girls is being an angel today and one is being a royal pain in the tush!!

Starbucks Saves the Day

My hubby came home yesterday, napped and had to leave again today. I'm just loving the holidays!!! At least today was a relatively beautiful day, so I packed the girls up and headed out!!! Destination, Starbucks! If the baby is not going to sleep while I'm staying away from caffeine, I might as well indulge at least one of my vices!!

And oh, the joy!!! Just to hold the warm cup with anticipation felt great! It is amazing what a little caffeine will do for one's mood!! Temper tantrum while leaving the playground... nothing to worry about, the poor darling is just tired. Husband is gone.... well someone has to make the money!! Baby won't sleep... Heck, I'll sleep when she goes off to college (or will i????!!).

Thank you Starbucks and your gingerbread latte!! ( I actually didn't care for the fake gingerbread taste, but I still gulped it down VERY quickly!!!! )

THE BLURTER

You know the mom I'm talking about . You are at the playground, enjoying the outdoors and the prospect of your children burning some energy. And then you see her -- pushing her stroller with a determined walk, slightly disheveled, and looking slightly frazzled. She appears to be looking for something and maybe a little sad all at once. She unstraps her children from the confines of the stroller and then she searches. What for? For the approachable, unsuspecting mom or dad from which to gain some adult conversation. "Your child is adorable?" blah, blah, blah... "How old is your child?" blah, blah, blah. And then of course, to be polite you reciprocate the standard playground questions. That's when she strikes!! You have opened yourselves up for attack!!!.. "Well..." she begins. And then she goes on and on about sleepless nights, traveling husbands, growth spurts of children.... Wait!!! That mom is me!!!

Yes, I to sometimes gush to some unsuspecting soul. On and on I'll go with hardly a polite pause. What is the motivation of the blurter you ask? Perhaps maybe a word of consolation or assurance that she is not the worst mommy in the world for feeding her daughter frozen waffles for dinner (guilty!)

No. I am not always this pathetic, but I have my moments. Don't we all? (Please say yes!)

To all those recipients of a mommy's blurting moments, be patient. For there are those who have, and those who will. I speak from experience.

Holiday Fun

Here is one of the fun things I did with my two year old. It took a lot longer to dry than advertised, but with a little TLC it turned out pretty nice.

http://video.about.com/familycrafts/Christmas-Magic-Ornaments.htm

PS The hyperlink is not working for me, so cut and paste into your browser.